Word for It
by snowflake98
Summary: Because watching two people and their massive sexual tension is, like, super painful. SasoDei.


**Y'ello, it's me! XD So, yeah, here's another oneshot and stuff. My computer was actually down for the count during my moment of inspiration, so I typed it up as an email and sent it to myself.**

**Lol. Enjoy! ;)**

**...yeah, so Sasori's mind-rant/prayer thingy keeps getting cut out no matter how many times I try to fix it, so I'ma just give in and put spaces b/w words.**

* * *

><p>Sasori had been watching him again.<p>

He just couldn't keep his eyes away, couldn't make himself stop thinking about him. With the beautiful, long, golden hair... he was so unafraid, so secure in his own image that he didn't care if others thought he was 'girly'... Slender but muscular frame... an upbeat voice, but a dangerous smirk... deep, blue, penetrating eyes...

Oh god... penetration was the last thing he wanted to think about.

Sasori took a deep breath and set his passbook down by the sink. He turned on the cold water and splashed some down the front of his shirt, hoping to dispell the sultry thoughts. The water forced a shudder out of him as it slid down his chest, but then he ran a hand through his hair and he was fine. His cheeks were still hot, though... Shaking his head, he looked into the sink and watched the water run down the drain.

Like his grades. Like his reputation.

Like his control.

"Uh... Mr. Upperclassman?"

Sasori looked up, surprised by the voice. If he had been in anything even resembling his proper state of mind, he would have scared the magical flying bunnies out of that _under_classman, just for daring to talk to him.

"What?" he growled out.

"I'm Uchiha Tobi," the boy replied, unfazed. "Tobi is Deidei's friend."

"You mean Deidara? Freakin' talk like a normal person, kid," Sasori spat.

...Oh god, Deidara.

Speaking of god, he turned his face to the sky and said a quick mental prayer.

Dear lord, I know I'm a sinner for wanting to fuck Deidara into the ground, or for wanting to _get_ fucked, whichever Deidara prefers, I know lust is a sin but he's so damn hot, and I just need to make it through today without any major crimes, such as rape, because those things go on your permanent record, you know.

"Is there something on the ceiling?" Tobi inquired in a small voice.

Jashin rules. Amen.

"Why the hell are you talking to me, kid?" Sasori snapped, turning the water off and brushing his hair back again. He grabbed a paper towel and dried his face, shuddering when an unbidden image of Deidara popped up behind his closed eyelids.

Cold showers, he thought frantically. Uh... knives. Pain. Cold showers. Dead things—did he mention cold showers?

"Hey, does Mr. Upperclassman like Deidara?" the same small voice asked.

Sasori threw the paper towel away, replying without skipping a beat. Good, he'd pulled himself together enough to answer.

"Sure, kid, Iwa's a respectable guy," he said in a monotone. "Why? Is he bumming for money? I'm broke, so go somewhere else."

He took a deep breath and finally got a good look at the kid, who was at the sink and was drawing circles in the puddles on the cheap school countertop. He had black hair and brownish red eyes. Well, okay, he had a brownish red _eye_. The other one had a bandage over it. "What happened to your eye, kid?" he asked. Not that he cared. Honestly. It just slipped out.

Tobi quirked his head a bit, like a confused puppy, then smiled and chirped, "Well, Deidei punched Tobi, and Tobi had to go to the doctor. Deidei said he was sorry but made Tobi put a bandage on it 'cuz it made him hurt to look at it."

As if he didn't know how that made Deidara sound!

He couldn't have Tobi running around and ruining Deidara's reputation, especially since his reputation was all Sasori really knew about him.

He knew that Deidara was a fellow artist (although he had a jacked-up sense of the meaning of art) and was popular. And easy. Slept with a lot of girls, "girls" being the keyword. Deidara was cool. People did not look at Deidara the way they looked at other people. Deidara was the life of the party.

Deidara also had a party going on in his pants. Apparently, none of those girls he'd slept with thought he was anything to sneeze at.

Information time. He was probably going to regret asking (hell, he already regretted not beating the shit out of this kid), but there was a chance for him to learn more about the person invading and conquering his thoughts.

He ignored the fact that Tobi kept speaking in third person (and the fact that his internal monologue had probably lasted, like, ten minutes) and asked, "Why'd he punch you?"

"Oh, Tobi bullied him a bit," Tobi replied, just as happily as before, "so Deidei's not the bad guy here." Tobi reached for a paper towel and began to wipe up the puddles on the counter. He started to scrub at something (who knew what kind of stains would be on the bathroom counter?) and asked, "So what's your name, Mr. Upperclassman?"

"Who wants to know?" Sasori snapped back.

Tobi was unfazed, again. He scrubbed a bit harder, then took another paper towel and discarded the one he held. "Deidei does. He was a bit nervous to talk to an upperclassman like you."

Upperclassman? What the hell? "Wait a second, what year is he in?" Sasori asked.

"His second," Tobi said quickly, his head snapping up at Sasori's sudden outburst. "He's a sophomore, Mr. Senior."

Tobi watched as Sasori banged his fist on the wall. "What the hell? Why is he in seniors' math?" he yelled in the direction of the sink in front of him.

That was the class he had first seen Deidara in. He'd been half asleep when Deidara had come in, flashing a late pass. Newly transferred, in only the second month of school, from the next county over. Sasori remembered it all so brilliantly... Every girls' eyes had been undressing the blonde's body. A few of the guys had been jealous of the attention... but most had wanted the blonde for themselves.

Including him.

He looked up, breaking out of his clichéd flashback, and looked Tobi in the eyes. Eye. Whatever. "...Why are you in juniors' science?" Tobi countered innocently.

Sasori recoiled a bit, surprised by the insult. It wasn't said like an insult, but it still stung quite a bit. And how the hell did Tobi know Sasori's schedule?

...Did Deidara know it? By heart? Had he stolen a copy from the principal's office like Sasori had planned to do for him...? His heart started to beat faster, but he covered it up by pretending it was anger. What the hell was that weird feeling running up and down his spine?

He growled out his answer quickly and defensively: "Because science is boring as fuck."

"Because to Deidei, math isn't," the younger boy replied, answering the question Sasori had asked before. "And Deidei wants to know your name," he insisted again. "He said so."

Sasori's lips went dry. He splashed more water on his face. "Akasuna Sasori," he conceded, without a fight this time.

"Okay, Akasuna," Tobi said. He smiled. "Nice to meet you! I'm Uchiha Tobi."

"You said that already, you dip," Sasori said, sighing.

Tobi smiled again. "It's a formal introduction. Shake my hand!" the kid chirped. Chirped! Was this kid a fucking bird?

"No. You're crazy. Stop talking to me," he growled. "Pleease," he added as an afterthought. And he didn't usually say nice words. Or anything less than something cleverly insulting.

Tobi did put down his hand and stop talking. This scared Sasori, because when people stop talking, they're usually thinking. He did not want to face anything this kid had to stop and think about. Especially on the subject of—

"Deidara. You do like him, don't you?"

Sasori jumped. "Yeah, kid, I said sure, he's respectable, but if he's bumming for money, fuck off," he growled again.

Silence issued from the other teen. Sasori used the time to straighten the collar of his shirt and force his hair back into place. He had to make it look like he hadn't been taking so long in the bathroom because of a quickie. Which he really didn't have, he swore, if his memory served him right, but he hadn't been keeping track of time since those scandalous visions of Deidara started dancing around in his mind.

He looked at Tobi again, still tracing little circles on the counter. "See you later," he said gruffly, simply as a courtesy, and made to leave, but Tobi grabbed his sleeve, and even though he slapped the offending hand away, it stopped him from leaving.

Tobi crossed his hands in front of him.

"Deidei thinks... thinks that he loves you," he whispered. "So... It would make him happy if you did too. If you loved him, too."

Sasori didn't answer immediately. It took him a while just to get to the point where he could comprehend those words; formulating a response was another matter. Tobi kept his eyes on the small blue tiles of the bathroom floor, but, in Sasori's mind, it was Deidara who stood before him, and Deidara's stare was burning holes in his body.

"I don't love nobody, kid," he growled out finally, whirling again to leave, but Tobi's hands were surprisingly fast, and the boy's grip was crushing his wrist already.

He let Sasori go shortly, but the redhead had paused and couldn't just turn and walk away smoothly anymore.

"So it's sex? You just want him for sex?" Tobi asked. His voice was surprisingly deep and clear. He had dropped all pretenses of being a childish type of person, and let go of the baby talk a while ago. He was now an intimidating underclassmen who seemed to know everything about him.

Sasori was taken aback. "No!" he quickly yelled, and then he lowered his voice, all too unwilling to be heard. "No. I... Okay, I want him, but not just for sex! I mean, he's really... he's totally... desirable..." he said, saving himself from saying that the blonde was "fuckable", "...but I don't want him just for sex."

Tobi nodded, understandingly. Then he looked up again. "Could you spend the rest of your life with him?" he asked. As if he were asking something menial, like the time...

And Sasori responded accordingly. "I could," he said, before he could stop himself. Then he backed up and realized the gravity of that question. "If I wanted to. But—"

"Isn't that love?" Tobi shouted angrily.

The final bell rang. It was a shrill one, like the sound of an alarm clock in the morning. It got into his head and raped his ears for a good minute, and then left his mind aching. And just when he thought there was relief, Tobi whispered, "Isn't it?" and violated his eardrums again with a pain that also hit sharply somewhere in the left side of his chest

"Isn't it?" the younger boy said again, his voice scraping like nails on a chalk board, and Sasori's ears ached so much that he finally just clawed at them and yelled, "Alright, I love him!"

The words bounced around in his head like jackhammers, dislodging similar thoughts that ricocheted off his skull.

I _do_ love him, he thought. This _is_ love.

And then he had a epiphany:

This feeling is called love.

The pain dissipated, after a moment, and when Sasori opened his eyes, he saw a very smug Tobi in front of him.

In the cacophony of teens in the halls rushing to sweet freedom beyond the school doors, Sasori knew there was little chance anyone had heard or cared about his yelling, but he was still pretty self-conscious about it.

That said, he was about to beat in the face of this brat standing before him who dared to look at him like that, but the smirk had already left Tobi's face and he was smiling like a child again.

"Deidei will meet Akasuna at five this afternoon. Tobi wrote the address in your passbook; you left it by the sink, Mr. Upperclassman," he said, his sugary tone matching his smile. He held out the book and Sasori stared at it for a long time before finally taking it. The halls were clearing out already; the cadence of footsteps was dying down, the teens having survived the oppression of high school for one more day.

"Okay," Sasori agreed, exhausted. He had a migraine in his head pounding away about a mile a minute, and Tobi looked happy, but beneath his smile he looked like he was about to fall asleep.

He backed away slowly, watching Tobi in case he was going to be stopped again; when no hand with a crushing grip reached out for him, he fled into the halls and ran.

His teacher was waiting for him with the books he had left in the classroom; he thanked her and ran to spin in the combination to his locker. He discarded his books inside and slammed it shut after it finally opened, then he escaped outside onto the warming spring grass, then across the street and onto an empty paved path.

He cast a glance around him. He was alone.

"I love you..." he said softly.

The words felt right. They felt like the truth; they felt like Deidara.

"I love you, Deidara," he tried again.

He had always felt like this; but now there was a word for it.

* * *

><p>Tobi strolled out of the school building, taking the back entrance to avoid the redhead he had just spoken to.<p>

He flipped open his cell phone, pressing a few buttons and holding it to his ear.

A thin, exasperated voice answered. "Madara?"

Tobi smiled. "Yeah, it's me, Itachi!" he said.

"Yeah, okay," Itachi asked, unable to keep up with the amount of energy Tobi displayed, even over the phone. "How's it going with Sasori?" he asked.

"He's all set. What about Deidei?"

"'Deidei' is being a stubborn bitch. And Uchiha Itachi does _not_ swear. How did you get Sasori to admit it?"

Tobi walked around in the shadow of the school building. "...I used the sharingan," he said finally.

"Madara!" Itachi yelled. This was followed by the sound of an impact. Then, a sound like Itachi had dropped the phone...?

"...Itachi?" Tobi asked.

"...Deidara, stop being stupid and just admit it!"

"NO, un!" a voice away from the phone yelled.

"Then at least stop throwing things at me!"

"I'm not a poof, un!"

"IT'S OKAY TO BE GAY, DEIDARA!"

"I"M NOT GAY!"

Itachi picked up the phone and sighed.

Tobi laughed. "You can always use the sharingan, Cousin," he suggested.

"I know, I know, but it just makes me feel bad to use it on people ... Ah—HEY!" Itachi yelled. "That's it, you asked for it!"

There was a cry of pain and then silence.

Itachi sighed again. "...Yeah, it's all good over here, too," he told Tobi.

"And Deidei will get his Sasori, and Sasori will get his Deidei, and they will live happily ever after!" Tobi declared.

"I have a feeling everything's going to turn out fine," Itachi agreed.

"Yup!" Tobi chirped.

Itachi sighed once more, tired out from the sharingan. "...At least until Sasuke grows up and realizes he's into guys, too," he groaned.

Tobi laughed. "...One thing at a time, Itachi. One thing at a time."


End file.
